Avery's Act of Kindness Fundraiser for an NICU Incubator {Cause}

Unfortunately, life doesn't always work out the way you planned it.

While I was 25 weeks pregnant with Triplets, Baby A, Alexanders' membranes ruptured (PROM).

While this can signal impending labour, for reasons unknown, I didn't end up going into premature labour until 30 weeks, 3 days.

Yes, the days matter.

International Bereaved Mother's Day. You Have Been Chosen {Loss}

Want to join a club that has a life-time membership, no financial fee, does not discriminate and has you rubbing shoulders with the rich and famous?

Sounds too good to be true or something out of Rumpelstilskin?

Pretty close except this is no fairy tale and admission is the life of your child.

Born at 30 Weeks. The Zoo's NICU Story #Prematurity {Loss}

When I was 7.5 weeks pregnant, I knew with 100% certainty that my pregnancy would not go to term.

That my offspring would be born premature.

Impossible to know you say.

Not when you're pregnant with Triplets!


Actual ultrasound: 7.5 weeks gestation.

November is Prematurity Awareness Month. My peers and I have created a blog hop to support all those that have travelled this road and all those that unfortunately will. Be sure to check out the other blog posts listed at the bottom of this post.

Here is an excerpt of The Zoo's NICU Story.

My three doctors informed me that if everything went according to plan, I would deliver at 36 weeks (something to do with placental deterioration). If I didn't make it that far then surely I would make it to the average gestation for Triplets: 32w4d. Christmas Day was 32w4d. We'd call them Rudolph, Donner and Blitzen.

They tried to talk to me about the risk of delivering earlier (amongst other things) but I would hear nothing of it. Perhaps it was for the better. There was nothing I could do anyways.

Have you Experienced Loss? Do you Talk about It?

I've experienced loss.

I lost my son Alexander when we was an infant.

I don't talk about Alexander that much. Not because I don't want to.

Give me any excuse to talk about all of my kids and I'm in. Some would just say "give me any excuse to talk" and leave it at that.

Besides, there's so much to share. All 31 weeks, 5 days of stories worth (yes, the 5 days count, smile).

Remember that time that we went to New York and brought him back a lousy t-shirt. And all the things that we're doing in his honour.

And just today, all three of the kids watched a movie together. Dora the Explorer of course. It's not Alexander and Max's favourite but Artemis usually gets her way.

And that's usually the extent of my story telling.

It's hard to explain that...

• While I'm grateful for Max and Artemis, they don't take away from the sadness that I feel over losing Alexander. I'd liken it to comparing apples to oranges,

• I say goodnight to Alexander every night and give him a kiss,

• The kids have to share with him. I even let them tease him sometimes,

• We talk about him and include him in our every day life. Even though he is not here,

• I think Max and Artemis believe that every one has a Brother that looks like a bear and sits on a shelf.

Sigh.

Just know that I don't not talk about him because it hurts too much.

Quite the contrary.

Besos, The Zoo

In Alexander's Honour

I wanted to post this on December 19th, the one year anniversary of Alexander's passing. However, we will be on our way to Mexico so here it is.

As many of you know, I have been struggling to decide what to do to honour Alexander's life. Many people; plant trees, release balloons, create plaques, raise money, etc... While all are great ideas, none of them seemed quite right for Alexander. I've decided that instead of one unique item or special event, once a year, Alexander is going to give life and happiness every day.

Here are a few of the things that we've done;

1. I've started to donate blood. When Alexander was sick, he needed a blood transfusion. I would want other parents to have the gift that we/he got. I can’t imagine what would have happened if someone hadn’t selfishly given of themselves.
   
2. I've registered with the Bone Marrow Donor Registry (http://www.onematch.ca/). The donation procedure has gotten a lot easier over the years and 85% of life saving donations is made via a blood donation. Perhaps I could save a life. I would want the same for my children.
   
3. I have been in correspondence with a woman in Nelson, B.C. whose daughter is sick and she needs breast milk (http://healinganaya.blogspot.com/). Alexander's first meal was formula (my milk hadn't yet come in) and I always wonder what would have been if he'd had breast milk. If I'd asked one of the mothers in the NICU for some of theirs. NEC is higher (in preemies) that are formula fed. Currently, she has enough milk but when we get back from Mexico I hope to send her some.
   
4. For the past year, on a monthly basis I have been dropping off clothes and other items to CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario). It feels good to know that children in need will benefit from our donations.

It's easy to remember all that I do have; two beautiful, happy and healthy children, a loving and supportive husband and my health. It's impossible to forget what I have lost; my dear Alexander.

I will continue to strive to do my best for me, my family and in Alexander's memory.

  Besos, The Zoo

Remembering those that are Gone but Not Forgotten {Loss}

If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that is a great gift. --Elizabeth Edwards

I came across this today. I couldn't have said it better myself.

  Besos, The Zoo

More Then Just a Quarter to this Baby Loss Mother

Today is "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day".

Lots of people have lost a child, however, when you're going through the loss yourself, it seems like you're the only one in the entire world..

People don't talk about it very much.

I get it. No one wants to talk about dead babies.

This is my life.

The good news, I have been in contact with a lot of really great women who have been supporting me through this lifelong journey. Unfortunately, they can support me because they too have lost a child.

Today I want to share with you the story about a woman that gave me a quarter.

But not just any quarter.