Every year, on the day of my birth, I think about you... about being adopted.
I think about how you're thinking about me. Wondering if I'm okay. If you made the right choice. Probably a lot of other thoughts too.
On my 18th birthday, my Mother was so excited to share all the contents of my adoption folder with me. I loved hearing all about you and my Biological Father. It appears that I am a lot like him in personality and looks. I always tell myself that when the time is right, I'll make the necessary call and find you.
I guess it's not time yet.
I have daydreams about having you wait at a bus stop while I'm on the third story of a building. Watching your every move and nuance. Do I look like you?
Some of my fellow adoptees believe that adoption is the easy way out.
That is not how I feel.
I think that placing your child for adoption is one of the most difficult decisions that a parent can make.
Since losing Alexander, I can't imagine choosing to live without your child. I feel connected to all that you no longer have. Not as my Biological Mother but as a person that has lost.
I hope that your heart doesn't stop beating for me, like mine does for Alexander.
I hope that you know that you made the right decision.
If not for You... For Me.
If we ever meet, whether in person or otherwise, there are two words that I have been saving for 41 years...
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To All My Friends: As always, please feel free to ask me any questions about my adoption.